Birthday!

My birthday was on Saturday. Since my kids have fifth's disease we mostly just hung out at home. But since they have their rashes they aren't contagious anymore. So we went ahead and went bowling and just tried to keep them from being in close proximity to other people. Even though they aren't contagious, I've still kept them home from church and school because they look like they got in a fight with a swarm of killer bees.

I am so excited to be done with work, but I am moving so slowly! I think I just got used to pretending I didn't work anymore and liked that life better :)

Also, I get very distracted when we talk about all the fun places we want to move. We've talked about:

1) Sydney, Australia:

Pros:

1) Another country with lots of culture (that's the #1 thing we're going for. Just, change. . . .)

2) Their dollar is $.94 of our dollar ;)

3) Warm! Should make the joints feel good.

4) Surrounded by water, we can swim OFTEN, another plus for joints

5) Plane tickets are only $500.

 

Cons:

1) 19 hour Plane ride. . .

2) Snakes

3) Home to hundreds of species of sharks

4) no Disneyland in driving distance ;) But I suppose if we only go for a year we'll live.

 

Dublin, Ireland

 

Pros:

1) We've already been and know WE LOVE IT

2) we would rent or buy a condo where we stayed last time because it was in a perfect location: walking distance to DART and train, walking distance to St. Stephen's Green, Trinity College, and three different fabric stores ;)

3) Speak English, sort of. Ha!

4) easy to navigate, no vehicle necessary

 

Cons:

1) Expensive plane tickets

2) Rent is a tad bit expensive

3) Chilly all year long

4) RIGHT in the middle of the city. We were in a nice quiet place, but I was sometimes concerned about muggings or middle of the night craziness.

 

Cork, Ireland

Pros:

1) A little less crazy than Dublin

2) No car required

3) A little less expensive than Dublin

4) Lots of fabric stores :)

5) bike friendly

 

Cons:

1) Plane ticket cost

2) Overcast all the time

3) Chilly

4) 2 hour train ride from airport

 

 

In another post I'll talk about other places we're considering

1) London, England, 2) Oxford, England, 3) Bath, England 4) The Channel Islands (dream. . . )

 

 

 

Fifth's disease

Josh and Miriam are home from school because they have fifth's disease. Crappidy crap!

All day today we've been talking about what the next thing we will cross off our bucket list will be. Drum roll, please. . . . .

We are going to hike a 14 day hike in the Alps. From Chamonix to Zermatt and probably a short few day hike on the Matterhorn.

They advise that you know German or French. I already speak conversational French and will try to teach the kids and we will be learning German. We are going to give ourselves four years to prepare physically, financially and. . . verbally, I guess you would say. . . ???  We're going to do one several day long hike a year to prepare and several shorter challenging hikes in the weeks between.

We are also taking four years to prepare so our kids can get older. Ha!

Garren is also closing in on taking over to his bosses practice at which time we can both work remotely. We are toying with the idea of living in another country. But I would likely have to homeschool if we planned on only being there for a year or two and I just don't know if I have the patience for that. And we would definitely going to limit ourselves to an English speaking country.

Life is so fun! I am having so much fun living my adventures with Garren and my kids!

I am so grateful that I have a successful business that will help us live out our dreams and am grateful for all my business knowledge that I gained from the best of the best: my dad and professor Ellessy! Couldn't have asked for better business mentors.

I love my life and I love planning fun adventures way in the future. It gives us something to focus on each day we live until that moment. Each day we have something to think about and something to focus our efforts on. So fun!

They wanted me to go to rehab. . . .

So I have been spending lots of time every day asking myself questions like, "How can I be a better mom, sister, daughter, friend?" etc. . . . And then acting on my answers. I finally feel like a whole person again. A person that has something to offer others. A person who can help and be there for others.

. . . . and I finally feel like I have reconnected with my old self, my more talented self, in tune self, productive self, etc. When I got married I feel like I lost myself completely. I became self conscious, I became a people pleaser. I became. . . someone else. A lesser person. But in trying to rehabilitate, I have found a way to live in the present. And it has been liberating. And living in the present keeps you from focusing too much on who others want you to be or what you think might be better. And you are forced to be whoever you are!

I forgot how much I loved life before I was married. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying I don't like my married life. I just don't like who I became after I got married. I had so much love and zest for life and I have found that again!

My long lost love and talent has been writing. The last time I saw my grandmother was in May of this year. As I was leaving her house, she grabbed me by the arms, firmly, and said, "Melissa, it's time for you to write your Harry Potter." Every once in a while I'd think about that and just think, "Nah, that was another life, another time. . . " Every once in a while I would sit down to write a story. It was good writing and all, but it just wasn't "my story." I kept shutting myself down and saying, "This isn't MY story." But it finally happened. I found my story. I am quitting the window treatments business and I am going to write my book. Well, books, actually. It's going to be a series.

My last day of work should be about December 16th, give or take a few days. And then I am going to start writing. I can hardly wait.

As a student of Orson Scott Card's, he promised us that he would always consider our writing for publishing. He teaches at SVU in the Spring, and I hope to get a meeting with him next semester to discuss my ideas with him and have him be my mentor.

I am loving everything happening in my life right now. I will be running in Ragnar WV Appalachian in June, I am running a 5k at Disneyland with my husband and kids in January. My business is extremely successful and currently employing seven women!  My children are thriving in school and are successful in everything they pursue.

I was supposed to be done with work this week, but I started living life like I already quit :) We went camping, then to Busch Gardens, then I went to Las Vegas to help my mother in law empty her condo, and we have just been doing TONS of stuff together as a family. I am really loving life right now.

For a long time I wasn't living in the present. I was letting things that happened in the past get to me. I let my temple recommend expire because I didn't want to be sealed to Laymons. But I met with my stake president and he taught me a little more about how sealings work and who exactly I am sealed to. While that brought me some relief, I also found a great dal of peace within myself just by committing myself to live in the present. And I have been feeling a great deal of peace and comfort in my life. And so. . . . . drum roll. . . . . I have half a temple recommend! ;) I have one more interview to go. Then, after three years, I will finally be able to enter the temple again. I didn't want to go because I always had negative thoughts and feelings about my husband's family. But I am finally at peace because I realize how much it doesn't matter when you just live in the present. Nothing that happened affects what is going on right now at this second, so it doesn't matter. It's been great because I ask myself every day, several times a day, what can I do today to be a better sister? And when I think of them I feel good feelings, genuine feelings, and positive peaceful feelings. I asked myself that one day and was prompted to purchase a dress from his sister's small business to promote and uplift her. I know that when I return to the temple that I will be able to go in there and I will think about each and every one of his family members and feel love and peace.

I am so excited to get started on my book. It's going to take a long time, though. I have to create an entire world with events, leaders, a history, a society before I can even begin. But I am excited to do it. I think it will change lives!!

On a sadder note, the husband of a former college roommate died last Sunday and it has had me in a funk. Then my kids' babysitter's grandson die on Monday. Then I made plans yesterday to attend the murder trial of an SVU girl who is presumed to have been murdered by her husband. Such is life.

I'm loving life right now! I love my family! I wish my mom would get back into the swing of things after my grandma's passing and join my fun! And I wish my husband's siblings would choose to live in the present so we can all move forward and be a part of each other's lives again. But, that isn't happening right now, so I guess I'll just keep going. Just keep asking myself every day how I can be a better daughter, a better sister. And then do it.

Going Private

Hi all,

I am going to be posting a lot of pictures of my children, especially from the wedding last weekend and our trip to San Diego and Placentia, CA. And our upcoming trips this summer. So I am going to set my blog to private from now on. Facebook me or email me your email adresses please. I know those who couldn't make it to the wedding are wanting to see the girls dresses! I'm going to post tonight.

Yah, right.

So I fired everyone in the fall thinking I was going to slow down on work. I have failed miserably at accomplishing this.

In addition to my one seamstress that I kept I have added two seamstresses, one to do roman shades and one to do lined curtains, and an assistant. We are currently a team of five, but I think I'd like to get one more for all the "filler" orders we get on the website. The website brings in tons of unlined standard rod pocket curtains. I think I'd like someone for all those. And pillow covers, maybe. When I decided to slow down on work there were 11 of us! I think 6 would be a good number. 11 was a lot to manage.

Last time it was hard because I would correct everyone's mistakes. But this time I think I am going to require that the mistakes be fixed by the seamstress and doc the shipping cost for the return from their pay for that project. That is in our new contract. I like having my assistant, Cyndie, because everyone can just tell her on our private FB page when an order is complete, etc and then Cyndie sends along the instructions, shipping notifications, etc. I don't have to do any of it! And when a client wants an update Cyndie can ask them via the FB page and I don't have to deal with all that. Having Cyndie makes it more like I'm just another subcontractor. it's nice. I think this is going to be good.

My friend is a film maker and doing his first solo project. The business is going to fund one of the two short films and in exchange he is going to credit the business as the producer of the movie and we will be on IMDB, mentioned at all the press events and be written everywhere like on the signs for production, etc and it will be in the credits and mentioned at the Sun Dance film festival and whatever other film festivals his movies get into. He is also going to do a few commercials for our business. He's going to be doing a commercial as well (aside from one for my business) that he said he might be able to use me for! He said it would have children in it and I'm trying to convince him now to use my kids :) It's so fun to have such talented friends! I seriously am so proud of so man of my friends for getting out there and making things happen! My kids and I get to go to the film set at the end of May. We're very excited.

I told him in the future we'd be happy to design sets for him as far as decor goes. He said he'd definitely use the business! We're super excited. This is huge! So much for slowing down, right? Holy crap! I told him if he'd make me a part of his team I'd move to Florida. Garren is taking over one of his partners jobs that he can do remotely. So I told him my friend to get well known by 2015 and I'll move to Orlando. Garren said he isn't wild about the idea of hurricaines, but that he would go if I got the job.

I'm just so thrilled! And I love that my business is helping mom's with young kids stay in their homes instead of leaving the home to work. I just love everything about it! I couldn't say that last year. You see, I always felt inspired about everyone I hired. And when my own sisters turned on me after I felt inspired to hire them I just couldn't deal with that. It was just like, why would God want me to hire them if they were just going vomit their selfishness all over me? But I understand now that I did what I was supposed to do and they are responsible for their own behavior and made their own choices. God didn't have anything to do with it. And of the eleven other people I've worked with and felt inspired to hire I've never had anyone else treat me as poorly as them. Everyone has been very grateful. So I am glad I am in a good place now where I can be happy with what I am doing and take pride in the fact that we are helping moms stay at home with their kids. One of the girls I hired this week is a rehire. She's super smart and will leave us in the fall to teach physics at randolph college. But in the mean time it will be great o have her back! She's good at everything she does!

And we will also be getting back into our sponsor families. We stopped in January while I tried to figure out switching over completely to the website. So many good things coming from this. I'm so excited.

I have such talented friends and family! I'm so happy for everyone! I'm excited about singing next month with my friend from Write This Down. Though I haven't sang in many years and told him I'll probably emberass him. So excited! So many great things happening this year! I just love it! And I love that I get to take my kids along for all of it! ANd they even get to be a part of it!

Her?

This morning as I spent some time meditiating and pndering on improving myself I reflected on a time when I felt I was at my best. I was a righteous member of the church, an example to everyone and was able to find balance in living this lifestyle without coming across as self-righteous or "holier than thou." I hope to be able to achieve this again!

I was a sophomore in high school and had gone to a dance. There was a guy that wanted my phone number, so I gave it to him. We talked a few times on the phone and he came to my house once. He tried to kiss me! I made it clear that I didn't want to talk to him anymore because I didn't want to give him the wrong impression. This upset him.

He was a Junior at my high school. The following Monday he started to spread rumors that he had sex with me over the weekend. A few of my friends told me about this rumor and I wasn't worried about a thing. The responses he got from every person he told was, "Melissa Butler? She wouldn't do that." And other responses like, "You wish!" I had developed a reuptation of modesty and chastity. It was so reassuring to me that I could just allow my reputation to speak for itself. I didn't have to defend myself because everyone already knew what I stood for and knew that his false rumors would not last long. Everyone seemed to know me and knew that I would never! And with each person that he told he looked more and more like an idiot because my reuptation and the way I carried myself and portrayed myself spoke louder than any lie said about me.

I hope to develop a strong reputation again. I want everyone to know who I am, what I am and what I will do. And it want it all to be good and righteous.

I still laugh to this day about those rumors. I laughed the first time I heard them. My best friend told me and she even laughed as she told me knowing that it wouldn't even phaise me to hear such things.

Live a life that speaks for itself. I did not have to defend myself or clarify any rumors because my reputation spoke for itself. I hope to teach my children this as well. It made getting through high school and warding off the evils of the world much easier when I had taken a great deal of time and invested it in my self worth and my values. I think it's the only way our young people will get through this world in this generation and the generations to come.

A Spiritual Giant

As I make my own personal progress I have been reflecting a great deal on who I want to become, how I want to be seen and observed. Thinking on how to accomplish these things I often reflect on where I came from. I have felt inspired to write these experiences and stories as I think of significant events in my life that have made me. . . me!

Now, I come from a long line of story telling people and have been warned continually by my mother that no one cares to hear our stories as much as we think they do :) And I have often heard my brother say, "You have two ears and one mouth. You should do twice as much listening as you do talking." But I wanted to record these stories as they were small yet significant moments in my life.


When I was in my youth I would often seek council from my father when I felt troubled by something. My dad was a busy man being a father to four children, a partner in his accounting firm, and a dedicated member of our ward and stake always willing to help those in need at a moment's notice. I found the best time to talk to him would be in the evenings before he or I would go to bed. One night I went to his room and he was praying. I came back 30 minutes later and he was still on his knees.

Later that week I was still bothered by something going on at school. So I went to his room again to tell him about it. I found him there on his knees, praying. I came back an hour later this time thinking that would be sufficient time to say a prayer and her was still there!

I thought, "Wow! My dad is a spiritual giant! Maybe all I need to do for help with this problem is to pray." So I did that. I prayed and after five minutes I felt I was done. I decided to keep going and going and when I started expressing thanks for each blade of grass and hair on my head I decided I needed to close the prayer.

When my mom came home from work the next day I asked her what dad prays about for hours every night. I told her that I had tried very hard and couldn't seem to pray longer than 10 minutes. Mom told me that dad suffers from Narcolepsy and it is very likely that he was asleep before the prayer began.

:)

Even if he really was sleeping it was observing him in the action of prayer that was so significant. It stuck with me and 15 years later I still think about my dad on his knees for hours. And sometimes I think there may have been nights when he didn't fall asleep. And that he actually prayed for hours. My dad's example to me helped me get through many hard times in my high school life. And I am glad he got on his knees to pray even when he likely knew he'd fall asleep there. :) I hope to tell him some day soon that the small action of prayer made a huge impact on the rest of my life.