Project: Mothers for Service

Project: Mothers for Service

            As mothers we are serving every minute of the day. By teaching our children and helping them develop good character we serve by turning out good citizens in society. In church we each have several duties: our individual callings, visiting teaching and more. In a visiting teaching message from the August 1993 Ensign it is explained that while these services we perform as wives and mothers consume most of our time it “prepares us for effective public activity.” Our service does not end there.

I submit that young mothers form a group that will encourage and enable service in the community. Once a week there will be a mother, or several depending on the number of participants, to watch the children of the other participants so they may go out in the community and serve. Each mother will have the opportunity to serve in the community and serve by providing care for children. There will be an alternating schedule.

http://archive.constantcontact.com/fs040/1102418494945/archive/1103426089825.html

The website above provides many service opportunities available in our community. Of course life will happen and some weeks our time will be limited. There are small services that can be done such as donating blood. If you make an appointment with the Red Cross there is no waiting. Or, depending on the number of participants, we could find a service project that requires the help of the whole group of women. We can also contact the compassionate service leader of our ward to learn how we may be of help to members of the ward in need.

It is my thought that in doing this our children may learn of the life of the Savior through our service and that others may feel of the spirit of the Lord and be introduced to the gospel through our service. Let’s spread the love of the Lord outside our church family to our communities.

If you would like to participate in this group effort to be a servant of the Lord while serving in the community please contact me at

mlaymon@gmail.com

or

540-570-6926.

 

Melissa Laymon

I don't want to talk about this. . .

but I'm going to let it all out. So watch out!!!!

I'm having one of those "I hate my life, I wish I were dead" days. And I've been having those a lot lately. I don't want to be here anymore, I don't want to be with Garren anymore, I just want to go home and be with my family. I hate that I feel this way, but I do. After very nearly packing up my car this morning and driving home to AZ because I HATE IT HERE, I decided maybe I should talk to a doctor because these feelings MUST be PPD related. I was feeling so depressed this morning I almost just drove myself to the hospital. But, my doctor saw me immediately instead.

I have been going back and forth about anti-depressants  for a while now: "Is her long term physical health more important or is my immediate mental health more important?" (Because I would have to stop breastfeeding). 

So he gave me an anti-depressant, and now I don't know which is worse: these awful feelings and mood swings or feeling like a failure because I have to feed my child that dehydrated, chemically infused cow crap? Is it worse for me to have these bad days every once in a while or is it worse to feel like a failure every time I make my child a bottle for the next 39 weeks? I definitely think my immediate mental health is more important. I mean, I have the route I'm taking, the hotels I'm staying at along the way and all that stuff planned out to go home to AZ. All it's going to take is one more bad day. And since that is not good for my family I know I need to do the anti-depressant. I just really don't want to have to feed her formula. The idea of feeding her formula has me in tears.

I want to do absolutely 100% what is best for my babies and breastfeeding is the best thing for them. But, in my current situation, I think  the anti-depressant might be more important than breast milk. I just don't know. I'm so torn. I'm also considering just taking the chance (the anti-depressant just hasn't been studied on nursing babies, but they do know that it does go to the breast milk) and maybe doing half formula half breast milk.  

I feel like such a failure. And I'm really just hating life right now. I just want to disappear. 

A lot going on. . .

We've been keeping ourselves busy lately. We go to the gym almost everyday. We work in the garden. We play with friends. And Toodles keeps us on our toes. Toodles has been a little miracle worker for me. I haven't had any of my "post-traumatic stress" issues since we've had him. When the puppy is peeing on the floor there really isn't any time to be worried about whether or not it will hurt to stand up. 

I have been keeping busy in an effort to distract myself from the fact that I never see Garren. Garren worked until 4am one night last week, and that's not the first time he's done that. I hear some complain about their spouses 8 hour day work schedule and it makes me sick to my stomach. Garren is doing 10 billable hour days. 10 billable hours equates 12 working hours. 12! A DAY! Joshua has stopped asking me if Dad will be home to put him to bed and it just breaks my heart. I know it makes Garren feel bad. Garren would much rather be at home with his kids. But, his boss is, well, tyranical and is working Garren to death. It has taken a huge toll on our relationship as well. I feel all alone here and it makes me so homesick. I keep thinking to myself that if I'm alone here anyway I may as well go home and be with my family. I don't want to leave Garren or divorce him or anything, I just don't want to be alone anymore. I wake up with kids and go to bed with the kids, and by that time I'm exhausted and just want to go to sleep and not even look at Garren. I am not throwing myself a pity party here, I am just introducing what I am about to talk about it. And with that said I want to tell all the complainers out there to shut up because no one wants to hear it.

So, Garren and I took our bishop's challenge to read the Book of Mormon as a family and try to finish it by Christmas. I have noticed a difference since we started two weeks ago. I have found that when we have made the time to read as a family that I don't get overwhelmed with the daily tasks I have to perform. I have even found myself having enough time to have "me time" every day. We read together this morning and Garren even had time to unload the dishwasher for me and still got to work early! I have also had the desire to want to be even in the same room as him! haha. I have found myself wanting to be with him and strengthening our family again and found myself less focused on how I am going to get home to my family in Arizona. We have been very blessed since taking on this challenge. 

We have also started companion scripture study and that has made a difference in our relationship as well. 

One blessing we have received, which I am convinced is a result of our diligence, is a job opportunity. Someone called him out of the blue and said they found his resume somewhere on an online job search website or something like that and they need someone for immediate hire. They require 6 billable hours a day which equates to 8 daily working hours. Garren would get twice the vacation time about $20K more than he is getting now.  AND, my favorite part, it is in Baltimore, Maryland. That is 2 hours from two of his sisters and one hour from the temple. He had a "phone interview" earlier this week and now we are just waiting to hear back about whether or not they want to do an in person interview. I really want this for our family. I was only wanting to get a new job if it was in Arizona, but at this point I am more concerned about being a family than I am about getting back to Arizona. This job would be half the working hours. And of course he'll have long days now and again, but everyone does. I have been very worried about my family lately. Joshua doesn't even assume anymore that he will see Garren during the week and I just don't think that is conducive to a stable family. 

I'll admit that I have been trying to do everything right so that I can call on certain blessings from the Lord. I know that is the wrong reason and that we should always be striving to do our best, regardless of whether or not we receive blessings, but I am so worried about my family lately that I have found myself making sure that we are worthy to receive blessings from the Lord. And I sure am hoping the Lord needs us in Baltimore! But, I also understand that if he doesn't need us there he will not send us. So I am prepared either way. I just hope we can find a more family friendly job.

Joshua and Miriam

I still don't know how to work the pictures on here. So Joshua's pictures are the one with blue and green in the backgrounds and Miriam's are the brown and pink.

Today I took pictures of Miriam just like I did with Josh when he was about the same age ( I think Miriam is one month older than Josh was), but they look so similar I wanted to put the pictures next to each other.

I just showed this to Josh and he said, "Wait a minute!"

Cousin fun

I remember growing up with my cousins and how much fun we had together. I hope we will make it back to Arizona so that my kids can grow up with their cousins. When we were Arizona we got to meet the new cousin, Berkley, for the first time. She is Neal and Krista's daughter and she is a beautiful baby. She is a very happy baby and LOVES her mommy and daddy. She doesn't want to be anyone else! She's great and had a great time with Miriam and Joshua. 

I was thinking of all the sleepovers and fun things we used to do together as cousins. I remember one time we all spent the night and Grandma Joyce's and decided we'd clean her house for her in the middle of the night because we love her so much. And she walked in on us cleaning the kitchen. She turned on the light and there we were trying to mop her floor. We weren't doing a very good job. We used the water sprayer thing on the faucet and pulled it out as far as it would go and used that to spray water on the floor. haha. She told us to go back to bed. Then we just did normal kids stuff, like sneak out of the back door and go into the guarage to get cokes and stuff. 

Or the was the ever popular "truth or dare" when we dared Shannon to run around the block screaming in the middle of the night. Then probably 15 years later we were having a "cousins" party and did the same thing and dared Neal to do the running around the neighborhood. He ran down the street yelling, "SHIT! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!" Hmm. . . I am now feeling bad for the Adler's. We all probably made them look like KOOKS to their neighbors. All in the name of fun. . .

But that's how it went. That was my life with my cousin. . . in "Laymon's" terms.

If you don't want mommy to know you are playing with her camera

don't take a picture of yourself. Haha. Joshua cracks me up sometimes. I was looking through the pictures and thinking, "I don't remember taking this one." and then I saw these. haha. I will be teaching him how to use the camera just in case if this ever happens again. That is my "parenting style." If Joshua discovers something he normally shouldn't be using, I just teach him how to do it properly instead of abandoning the object altogether. I've done that fromo the time he was first mobile. And I will do the same with Miriam. Doing things that way has helped things to not be so "desirable." I explain everything to him. If I am using a chemical cleaner I explain what it is used for, why i am using it and how to use it. Then he doesn't mistake it for something else. I don't know how much he understands, but I can say that he has never had a problem with chemical cleaners, sharp objects, etc. I have never had to baby proof my house because I just explain everthings use to him and he understands for the most part. I hope I will have a similar experience with Miriam. So I showed him how to use the camera and this is what he did. 

I don't think I understand how to do pictures now. . .