A lot going on. . .

We've been keeping ourselves busy lately. We go to the gym almost everyday. We work in the garden. We play with friends. And Toodles keeps us on our toes. Toodles has been a little miracle worker for me. I haven't had any of my "post-traumatic stress" issues since we've had him. When the puppy is peeing on the floor there really isn't any time to be worried about whether or not it will hurt to stand up. 

I have been keeping busy in an effort to distract myself from the fact that I never see Garren. Garren worked until 4am one night last week, and that's not the first time he's done that. I hear some complain about their spouses 8 hour day work schedule and it makes me sick to my stomach. Garren is doing 10 billable hour days. 10 billable hours equates 12 working hours. 12! A DAY! Joshua has stopped asking me if Dad will be home to put him to bed and it just breaks my heart. I know it makes Garren feel bad. Garren would much rather be at home with his kids. But, his boss is, well, tyranical and is working Garren to death. It has taken a huge toll on our relationship as well. I feel all alone here and it makes me so homesick. I keep thinking to myself that if I'm alone here anyway I may as well go home and be with my family. I don't want to leave Garren or divorce him or anything, I just don't want to be alone anymore. I wake up with kids and go to bed with the kids, and by that time I'm exhausted and just want to go to sleep and not even look at Garren. I am not throwing myself a pity party here, I am just introducing what I am about to talk about it. And with that said I want to tell all the complainers out there to shut up because no one wants to hear it.

So, Garren and I took our bishop's challenge to read the Book of Mormon as a family and try to finish it by Christmas. I have noticed a difference since we started two weeks ago. I have found that when we have made the time to read as a family that I don't get overwhelmed with the daily tasks I have to perform. I have even found myself having enough time to have "me time" every day. We read together this morning and Garren even had time to unload the dishwasher for me and still got to work early! I have also had the desire to want to be even in the same room as him! haha. I have found myself wanting to be with him and strengthening our family again and found myself less focused on how I am going to get home to my family in Arizona. We have been very blessed since taking on this challenge. 

We have also started companion scripture study and that has made a difference in our relationship as well. 

One blessing we have received, which I am convinced is a result of our diligence, is a job opportunity. Someone called him out of the blue and said they found his resume somewhere on an online job search website or something like that and they need someone for immediate hire. They require 6 billable hours a day which equates to 8 daily working hours. Garren would get twice the vacation time about $20K more than he is getting now.  AND, my favorite part, it is in Baltimore, Maryland. That is 2 hours from two of his sisters and one hour from the temple. He had a "phone interview" earlier this week and now we are just waiting to hear back about whether or not they want to do an in person interview. I really want this for our family. I was only wanting to get a new job if it was in Arizona, but at this point I am more concerned about being a family than I am about getting back to Arizona. This job would be half the working hours. And of course he'll have long days now and again, but everyone does. I have been very worried about my family lately. Joshua doesn't even assume anymore that he will see Garren during the week and I just don't think that is conducive to a stable family. 

I'll admit that I have been trying to do everything right so that I can call on certain blessings from the Lord. I know that is the wrong reason and that we should always be striving to do our best, regardless of whether or not we receive blessings, but I am so worried about my family lately that I have found myself making sure that we are worthy to receive blessings from the Lord. And I sure am hoping the Lord needs us in Baltimore! But, I also understand that if he doesn't need us there he will not send us. So I am prepared either way. I just hope we can find a more family friendly job.