A friend from high school serves me a slice of humble pie.

I have written often about how people shouldn't abandon each other because one person is in a funk or has a bad week, month, year, etc. Some "cut people out" of their lives if they don't offer something to their lives. So I had a hard month and you cut me out because I didn't have anything to give you at that time? What about when I got over it? So now I'm over things and I'm better than ever. And I'm grateful to those who didn't "cut me out" and I think they are too. I think that's just a bad attitude and a poor way to live. I think people that are focused on what other people have to offer to their lives should think, "What can I offer to their lives while they're enduring this difficult trial?" Cutting people out is selfish and mean.

But even more than that, people change. And people can change for the better. I know I have. I am better than ever. I feel very connected to the Lord right now and can honestly say that my actions right now are spiritual guided. And my life is great. Worth gold. :) My life is worth gold because I live in such a way now that has made it that way. Before, my choices and actions weren't making my life very valuable. But I am just as good now as I ever was. And to those who cut me out: Your loss.

But what about when the tables are turned? One time, in high school, I went to youth conference. It was a weekend long event. There was a boy there I had never met. He was good looking and seemed nice. He asked me for my phone number! I was shocked. I actually didn't know what to do or how to respond and I ended up saying no! There was just something weird about the way he asked me. I also thought to myself, "And when you call, what are we going to talk about? Remember that time at Youth Conference when I asked for your phone number?" Yah, not going to happen.

Later on, a friend came up to me and pulled me aside and said, "That group of guys over there made a bet that they couldn't get a girl's phone number before the end of the weekend. I think one is going to ask you. Just wanted to give you a head's up." Yah. . . he already tried it. . .

I don't know if I was particularly desparate looking or homely or what, but he chose to ask me. Chose to humiliate and embarrass me! I didn't let it get to me too much. I brushed it off for the most part and was really glad I went with my instinct and said,"no."

After that weekend we had the great fortune to have classes together at school every single year after that until graduation. In fact, I was seminary class president to mine and his class. And while I didn't let it bother me to the point that I cried or developed a bad attitude toward guys, etc, you'd better believe I didn't ever let him forget that he did that to me. Ever. Including last Sunday.

So I went to church on Sunday and passed a group of new missionaries in the hallway who had just arrived the night before. One stopped me and said, "Is your name Melissa?" I said, "YES IT IS BBBBEEEENNNNN!" I knew exactly who he was. And since he was my age I said, "So, how long have you been on your mission now? Nine, ten years?" He just laughed and I introduced him to my kids and talked about the places he had been already on his mission. I had to play the piano in primary, so I had to get going.

I thought all day about this and why he would be on a mission now. I thought about how I would craftily bring up that youth conference to, again, not let him every forget :) I went home and Facebook stalked him. I found his FB and a website where he had been keeping a record of his pre mission experiences, post call, and mission experiences. I spent most of the afternoon reading every word. I couldn't believe what I was reading. None of what I was reading sounded anything like the boy who I had taken great care to make sure he never forgot one little incident, one little conversation that took all of a minute and half. One tiny little action. I was amazed at what I read. He was very spiritual, very open and, being an English major, his writing actually impressed me most. He seemed very well read and wrote very well. I could hardly believe it! He wasn't the boy who took bets from friends or acted on peer pressure not thinking about who he was acting against. He was changed for the better, becoming fully consumed in the work of the Lord and dedicating his life to the saving of souls.

Then I remembered how much I wanted people to see me for who I am now, and not for I was then. And then I got a little sad. I was ladled a piping hot bowl of humble soup. Disappointed in myself for doing to him what others are currently doing to me. It doesn't feel good. It isn't nice and it is selfish and hurtful.

I plan to live in the present. What that means to me is that I will live my life and treat people based on who they are right now, not who they were yesterday. And I hope people will treat me based on who I am today. Not who I was yesterday.