Tuesday, February 11, 2014

The parable of the vineyard

I am sure I have read Jacob 5 more times than I've read my own name. I feel like I know this part of the Book of Mormon in and out. But several things have stood out to me this time around because of where I am at in my life.

I realize now how everyone plays a part in our lives. In Jacob 5:37 when the tree begins to produce rotten fruit, the master says to the servant that the tree is perishing. When the master's tress begin to perish he tells the servant to go get more servants to help preserve the tree. I've heard this compared to missionary work, visiting and home teaching 8 million times. But I think it applies within our own families and friendships. I think we are all responsible for each other.

I think preserving the tree is like preserving our relationships with our family members and friends as a means of support. I was thinking of my own relationship  with my sister, Cyndie. I said some things that her feelings it took her a long time to forgive me. I had done everything in my power to make things right, but she still hadn't yet forgiven me. And though I was at peace knowing I had done enough to rectify the situation, the situation still plagued me since I knew she was feeling troubled. That nagging at the back of my mind hindered my progress at times as that was time I could have spent doing other things to further myself. I have always had a grasp of this concept and so I made it imperative in my life to forgive others. There was anther situation with another sister, or two, and it took me two years to fully forgive. But I knew and understood the importance of forgiveness from all parts and chose to dedicate a significant amount of my life to learning how to love them as sisters again and to forgive them. And I am glad my sister, Cyndie, did that for me. She and I must come from good stock, as my dad says :) We both seem to understand that having close relationships with family members is essential to support and uplifting one another. I think we are all responsible for each other and have can have a significant impact on how those closest to us feel. And it is important tat no matter what has been do to us, or what we have done, that we treat each other positively and in an uplifting manner. As much as I can say I'm just going to forget someone, it doesn't happen that way. So as much as I am feeling hurt, I have made it a personal goal to only say positive uplifting things and to only be positive and uplifting in all I do towards others. And this helps me forget that anything bad ever happened. It is all the more important to make sure our relationships with siblings and close friends is well nourished and preserved for our own progression's sake and for the other person's progression's sake. I hope to teach my children to never punish someone else by being unforgiving because that hinders progress for both parts.

I know that was a bunch of rambling, but it all made sense in my head. :) Basically, I think we have a responsibility to treat each other well, regardless of the circumstances. I am so grateful for my sister Cyndie and how much her forgiveness has helped me progress in my personal life. I'm grateful for all my sisters. All nine of them :)

The other thing that caught my eye this time was verse 73 when the roots are not developed enough to hold the substantial top of the tree. I have often had one or two really good days where I feel like my life is going super well and that everything is turning around. And then after a day or so I feel like I just crash and die. I connected with this verse because I felt like I had such good intentions of doing everything right and doing really well, but when I was carrying around the weight of negative feelings, my roots could not sustain the substantial goals and intentions I had. I had to make everything right in my mind and my heart and be at peace there before I could move forward with any kind of progress.



Okay, enough heavy stuff. I have a new goal. It's pretty huge. In fact, when I told my nurse friend about it she told me to have my thyroid checked :) Maybe my hormones are imbalanced and I am thinking I can do way more than I can :) I can't elaborate just yet, but I will be able to on April 27th. I need some time to see if it is physically possible for me to do this. Then I can say one way or the other. I am going to say no matter which way it turns out, but there would be more disappointment if I shared it now and then it didn't work out than if I say it after the fact. I know, anticlimactic. . .  Maybe I'll get my thyroid checked one of these days. . .

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