It finally happened!!

Today has been another life changing day! Really! I can't even express how great today was. New revelation, new insight, new friends, new perspective. You name it!

Today I bore my testimony in church about how after this incident happened with some family members that I shut a door to a part of myself and I starved that part of myself until it had died and I could no longer feel it. But in the past month I have allowed for new growth. But to let in that new growth I had to dig up the dead part of myself to allow room for the new growth. And accepting all of that part of myself and accepting what I had done and what had been done to me was almost more excrutiating than the process of letting that part of me just die. I could not have faced those things without the help of the Lord. If I tried to face those things aloneI know the result would have been detrimental.

A month ago I Was so thrilled at the prospect of not having these people in my life and that I could live without them. But as I have been changing and evolving I have realized that through the Lord not all is lost. It has only been just this week and the change and evolution of myself taking place this week that I have realized that I can have them in my life without feeling hurt and without thinking of all the terrible things. I know this because I prayed for help to have good thoughts instead of bad thoughts when they came up and I was immediately blessed with those good thoughts. I will tell you how it happened.


     This past week I have receieved three, yes THREE, emails from clients of my sister in law from last year. Three this week alone! I left all of them unread until this afternoon. When I went to open them I prayed that I would not be overcome with the hurt feelings or negative thoughts as I read emails from her former clients. I sat down to my email and found myself excited to read what they might possibly have to say after a year and a half. They raved about how they loved their treatments and were back for more! One was back to replace the other ones as she had redecorated. I found myself happy that they had returned and did not have a single bad feeling. In fact, I was filled with nistalgia as that was the greatest time for me in my business. When it was just me and her (Before we added in the other sister who started putting ideas in her head and was just generally unpleasant). I found myself remembering how fun it was to work with her. I found myself remembering the spiritual promptin I had to offer her a job. I found myself even laughing at remembering some of the clients we had and their wonky requests and how demanding they were that I find out immediately if their fabric had arrived at her house. Most of all I remembered how our relationship had been strengthened in that time because I trusted her. I trusted her to come through on her end and deliver qulaity. The reason I know the Lord blessed me with these pleasant happy memories is because for the past year I have been so focussed on the few orders that she didn't come through on. The orders that she didn't complete and left me to do. And today He blessed me to remember something I hadn't thought about in over a year: that she was talented, she was dedicated and she came through for me (until her sister came in and put other ideas into her head). . .

       She was an assett to my team. She was talented, attentive, detail orientated, punctual, responsive and above all flexible with our clients demands and sometime constant changes. She accepted responsibilities for her mistakes (the ones made before her sister came in and didn't acknowledge or accept mistakes she made on her treatments. .  .). She would promptly fix her mistakes and assume responsibility for a clients dissatisfaction. I have to admit that in seven seamstresses I have worked with since her there was no one quite like her. And I do miss working with her. (Just to be clear the "her" before what she became when her sister was negatively influencing her to make unwise moves as far as the business was concerned).

Basically, today I felt as thought I had truly healed. Because as I had recalled the few months just she and I working together I realized that it's her sister I hold responsible for the negative end to the business relationship. The time that she and were working together was the best time of my business in these 2.5 years. And I even felt, even if for just a few minutes, that I'd do it all again, just me and her. If I could go back in time and change things, I probably wouldn't now. Now that I am able to see that those few months were the best. I trusted her and she delivered. She was great! No. Amazing. It wasn't until working with her that it felt like it all meant something. That having and creating that business from nothing felt like it was worth something if it meant I could share it with her. Amazing.