My mission in life

As I have been going throughout this journey I have witnessed many miracles. I have made baby steps of progress daily. Somedays regressing. But I never would have guessed that God would hae felt me prepared to accept what has come to me between yesterday and today.

I do not care to share here what has happened to me. All I care to share is that nothing that has ever happened to me before this day is of any consequence to me any more. Why God felt I was prepared or even worthy of this temendous blessing of peace, I cannot say. I don't think I will ever understand in my earthly state why this event has happened to me. But I know that it has happened.

Recently, I have been feeling that I could not reach my spiritual potential until I had quit work so I could devote the time necessary to focusing on spiritual maturation. But it has been made clear to me what I must do. I wish I could express what I feel right now in words, but there are none to suffice.

I know that I will have no trouble making the changes I need to make. But I must take care to remain focussed and unwaivering. If I allow myself to give in to any of the negative thoughts I have had before the consequences will be disasterous. Now that i have had this sort of spiritual awakening and it has been made known to me what I Must do in my life, if I ever degress, even for a short moment, the consequences will not just be a day of depression. The consequences will be disasterous and create a ripple affect in the loves around me and the lives that are not even yet lived.

I must remain focussed, steadfast and unwaivering. I must remain faithful in every breath I take and with eery ounce of my being I must stay focussed. I must take care to never let a day pass thinking, "Some day I'll try" just as a diabetic cannot go with out insulin, an illness without treatment, an infant without food.

Oh, how I hope everyone has an experience like this in their life.

As I live and breathe I can testify to you of the truthfullness of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. God knows me by name and knows who I am. He knew I had to endure this trial in order to have this life changing experience that will ultimately lead me to spiritual maturation. He will never let me suffer more than I am able and will give me the peace I need after the suffering even if there is no explanation as to why I had to endure it. I think it is only by accepting these trials in our life that we can truly reach spiritual maturation. Too long have I tried to ignore bad feelings or change the subject. But I took this particular challenge in my life and saw it through from beginning to end. It would have gone on for the rest of my life had I not chose to experience it with God and Jesus Christ.

The past 15 months have been very focussed on this problem in my life. And because of a miracle from God that no human being is worthy of, least of all myself, I can now live and fulfill the reason for which I am here.

Miracles continue to happen every day. And I am so grateful that God saw fit to make me a part of one. I owe my life to Him and must remain focussed. Focussed on Him, focussed on what He has here for me to do. I cannot waiver even for a moment.