Perfect

Today was absolutely perfect.

No negative thoughts. No hurt feelings. No nothing. It was great. I was able to walk into my work room and not think or feel a thing! Just work! It was beautiful!

I even went as far as to buy a Christmas present for the person I once harbored such ill feelings for. When I found out we had this person for Christmas I went with it. But underneath all I could think was how all she's ever done is take take take from me. And the thought of giving her anything after what she did to me last year made me scream inside! But today I did it! I went shopping and I shopped for her the way I do everyone else. I put a lot of thought into my gift shopping. I avoid gift cards, if I can. I like to imagine the person I am shopping for, imagine the look on their face when they see the gift, imagine the joy it will bring them at that moment. And I successfully and happily did that today. I found a very nice picture frame that has a little quote on it with a colorful background. When I saw it the colors just reminded me of her and her style and I thought, "I think these colors match her personality well!" And I got excited as I imagined her putting it up in her home and seeing it every day. Not a single ill thought or ill feeling. Just excitement that I found something that might make her day a little brighter! It was a tremendous feat for me. I enjoyed today's shopping trip and enjoyed being able to think of her positively again, as I did at one time. And I know that's a blessing from God. Another blessing of peace. I felt love today. I think the joy and excitement I felt when I found something that I thought would fit in her decor was love for her.

I hope I'm right about the gift. I hope she doesn't open it and see the colors and think, "Who on earth would ever hang something like this in their house?!" Oh that would be terrible! Haha, okay no more second guessing myself. Or I'll have to reshop for everyone's Christmas gift!

I don't think presents detracts at all from the meaning of Christmas. I really felt that today. As I felt joy and love instead of anger and hatred today I realized that is what Christmas is about. That is what Christ would want me to do this Christmas. I think Christ would be a lot happier with me having bought this present and feeling that love and joy than if I didn't buy a present at all never giving myself the opportunity to have that moment. I think it's okay for Christmas to be about presents and giving. :)

I also met my running goal again today. My cooking goal, however, is not going so well. :( Chicken nuggets and tater tots with carrots for dinner :( It was a crazy day.

Today was just sublime! I am making exponential progress each day.